Dear Annika,
Lately I have been calling you my little Simba…you are a ball of fire like a lion cub. At night when I tuck you in, you tackle me and we roll around and I kiss you all over your face and neck. This makes you giggle like crazy, but as soon as you realize you are giggling you pretend to roar like a lion. Your spirit at this age is abundant, to say the least.
I love watching you figure out the world. You have always been a person with many layers. Since the day you were born, there has been a wisdom and depth about you I cannot describe. It is demonstrated at this age in the way you carry yourself…you have a strong sense of self for a four-year-old. A couple of weeks ago your friend Avery cut off your bangs...and last week you were fascinated by the humidifier next to your bed, and leaned over so close to the green light that the steaming water pouring out of the machine burnt your forehead! But you walk so boldly and proud with no bangs and a big burn on your forehead…seemingly having no cares in the world.
But I know you better. I know that your heart is struggling in ways you will never show. I think at this age you are having a hard time defining your place amongst your sisters. This will probably be a lifelong battle…but you are working very hard at it, and so am I. You were dealt quite a hand coming only 18 months after a “first-born” … and then being only 6 months old when I became pregnant with the twins. Your sisters make a very loud, rambunctious, Annika sandwich…and you continue to hold your own…even though I think it hurts your heart when you are overlooked.
I recently started working at your daycare, and I love seeing you throughout the day. We talk every time our classes are on the playground together, and I relish in watching you climb to the top of the climbing wall. I try to sneak downstairs and hug you tight before your nap each day, and your friend Gage always wants me to kiss him too! Haha! Each Thursday I take you on my break. We get to spend an hour together, just the two of us, before heading over to Miss Flo’s. Flo is a friend of mine who is very smart with children. Remember all those layers I was talking about? Flo is going to help us continue to reveal the depth of you and coach me as a mom in the best way to parent an amazing daughter like you. Before we go to Flo’s we like to hit up 7-11 for Slurpees and gum. I think long after we stop seeing Flo, we will still be going to 7-11 for Slurpees and gum.
Tonight you were very tired and said your leg hurt. You must be getting ready to grow a little taller. At your 4-year checkup the doctor said you hadn’t gained any weight this past year, just shot straight up! I have a feeling you have a lot of growing to do before your 5th birthday.
Annika, you warm my heart to the point of explosion. I am so blessed to be your mom, and watching you grow is a gift. Our friendship will have a lot of ups and downs…because I have a feeling we are a lot alike. I identify a lot with you, and hope that you will invite me to help you unveil the mystery in your soul. Thank you for sharing yourself with me.
Tomorrow you have a field trip to the pumpkin patch! On the way home from school today you said that you want to be a vampire for Halloween. It changes every day. Your favorite movie right now is Wizard of Oz (you are actually obsessed with it)… but since Pepper can’t come for Halloween you have decided you don’t want to be Dorothy anymore. We’ll see what you come up with for tomorrow.
Sleep tight my little Simba.
Love,
Mommy
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